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To people who are poor or feel weak and suppressed, i have a secret.
This is av techique used by members of the totalist- labour movement and by
the strait edge anarcists, to get control over their lives.
It is to stay away from the poisons.
If you are poor or feel poor, and then you drink and smoke and take in other poison, it will
make you poorer. If you are a family provider, and you do these things, you
will drag children and family with you down the drain. This way, you will
not get out of the poverty. This is something i have felt for myself, after
providing Dyveke together with studying. Now, i have a second child coming,
and it will also need me to stay well and healthy, and be a good family
provider.
When a person scream and shout at other people, it makes them feel smaller.
When they get older, they will in turn grow up and scream at the person who
made them feel small, when they where kids. This is a way to destroy a
family. This can go across several generations, and in many families, it
does. It is a pattern that has to be broken. We will start with giving the
elder people the dignity and respect, that they refused to give us, when
they raised us. Then we will continue with giving the children the respect
and dignity that we wanted to have for ourselves, when we grew up. When one
person demand respect for himself, on behalf of the others, it is not fear.
In a family, we all have to respect each other equally. It is not one or
two persons, who should have more respect than the others, but an equal
amount of respect and dignity should be given to all.
The thing is that i cannot afford to live with one person who is not
adapting to the group. The regime that i have made works well for Dyveke.
It will also work well for the kid that is coming. When i gather the family
around the kitchen table every evening at 1900, it is a factor that
stabilizes and is good for the family. It gives rest and health to eat
nourishing food together, once per day. Furthermore, it fills a social and
psychological dimension because it provides the social feeling of belonging
together with the group. It is a moment when we rest together, and lay
behind the problems of the day. This way, it is a ritual, that is made in
order to bind together the life wich society have made very hard and
demanding for us. It is a resting place, and it is a way of holding the
group together by filling up with at least one positive moment every day.
By doing this, it provides strengthening for the group, and it makes the
members able to stay together, also at times when things are not going so
well. I will not stop doing this.
If one day, i choose to take a man or a person into my famliy, it will have
to be a person who can share this regime. Who can go in and make the dinner
half of the days in the week. Buy healthy food, and then prepare it with
care for the group, and serve it to them.
When i choose this person, it will be a person who gives the same amount of
respect to the other people of the family, that he demands for himself. A
person who does not allow him og herself to get angry and explode in the
center of the house, but rather a person who can admit guilt, take
responsibility of his/ her own feelings and not let his/ her own bad
feelings affect the rest of the people in the house. This conforms well to
what my Guru in anarchy and poerty, Jens Bjørneboe said once, that we are
all guilty for each other. But i cannot find the exact poem, now, so it
will end like this, with this incomplete quotation that i am not yet able
to place.
Peace and Love from
Ragnhild
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